What I Miss

One thing I miss about being XXX-Large.....LARGE POCKETS.

Apparently, the smaller your pants are the smaller pockets you are allowed.  I just spent a solid minute trying to get my keys out of my new pant pockets and ended up smacking myself in the face.  WTF!

And Now For Something Completely Different:

Current Weight: 210.8

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: - 1.6
Total lost: -47.2
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 70.8

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -1.8 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -2.8 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -10.9 pounds to go in 12 weeks (0.91 pounds a week)

I am happy with this weeks weight loss. I know I probably lost a little more as I didn't get to weight myself until later in the day after I had already consumed meal but that will show up next week. 

I've got some BIG news

DRUM ROLL PLEASE ..................

I purchased my first shirt at Macy's in the normal girl section!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

For the first time in 10 years, I can officially say I no longer have to shop at big girl stores or departments.  It is an amazing feeling. 

So now I am sporting my size 15 juniors jeans (curtesy of my little sister trunk'o'jeans) and a XL shirt. I never thought this day would come.

One of the reasons I wanted to be under 200 by the end of the summer is that my cousin from France is coming on September 3rd.  The last time she saw me in person was when I was around 180 and it looks there is a real possibility I could be around that weight when I see her again.  I am so thrilled.

This week, i got together with two friends who have not seen me since I have started loosing weight.  Their reactions gave me such a ego boost.  I am still riding the high.

FOOD

Our work is always trying new things to keep us motivated to stay healthy.  This month we are having a throw down between two departments to see who can come out with the yummiest and healthy foods in three categories: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dessert.   While I have no baking skills what so ever, I had the brilliant idea to sign up for the dessert section.  It didn’t take me long to figure out my mistake and I quickly rummaged through the few desserts I can actually make without having guests flee the house. 

Up came my recipe for Pumpkin Scones.  It meet all the calorie/fat/sugar/sodium requirements (though just barely) so I am excited to see how it rates against the competition. If I win, I will post to recipe for you all. If not…we never had this conversation.

I know I have talked about this a ton, but I am still inwardly thrilled about the change in my eating habits.  I use to eat ALL THE TIME. Even if things didn’t taste that good, I would eat it all.  At parties and events I would stalk the food table and would eat the ENTIRE event. 

Now it is completely different. My Little Sister had her birthday on Saturday and had a huge party at her friend’s house. There was so much food to meet everyone’s palate and pre WW I would have been all over it like white on rice.  This time around was so different. Since my mom and older sister don’t like to party like my little sister does, they came early and I had a small dinner with them.  Then I avoided the food table most of the night.  Only after playing the initiation round of the new Battle Shots table, a friend brought me a plate with some more potatoes so the ratio to food/liquor in my stomach was even.

Not 100% complete but we were able to rig it to make it playable for the party. Unfortunatley we lost :-(

The most amazing thing about the whole evening was that it wasn’t like I was craving to eat but not allowing myself, I didn’t think about food AT ALL.  Food isn’t on my mind 24/7 anymore. The only time I craved something is when they started serving the cookie monster birthday cupcakes (was going to post a picture of the cake, but while looking up images on my phone I realized people added inappropriate additions to the cupcake, lol.)  I have a pretty solid sweet tooth and was tempted but then I overheard someone say that while the cake was good, the frosting was two sweet. Just hearing that it wasn’t perfection was enough to turn the craving off.  WEIRD, I KNOW!!

What is the biggest change you have seen in your eating habits since started your weight loss journey?

Current Weight: 212.4

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: - 5.4 Total lost: -45.6
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 72.4

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -3.4 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -4.4 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -12.5 pounds to go in 13 weeks (0.96 pounds a week)

12.5 pounds to go and I get a cheeseburger!!!! I know I know, I am not suppose to reward myself with food but OMG, I have been craving a cheeseburger and fries from 5 Guys for weeks!! The only thing that is stopping me from foaming at the mouth and storming the building to consume this delicious meal like a rabid dog is that I made a deal with myself: 

I meet my goal of 199.9 and I get myself a cheeseburger and fries completely guilt free.  

As my kids would say; “12.5 pounds is going to take FOR-EV-ER!!”

No special reason why I lost so much this week. A combination of my body making up for last week’s weight gain with the added combination of crap load of stress which seems to dampen my hunger.  I haven’t exercised in a week and I totally feel it. I feel lethargic and tired all the time.  I really need to get back into a routine. 

I hope you guys had a great Memorial Day weekend. We played hard at our house which ended up with some pretty exhausted kids. Mama D turned on a movie for them around 8pm the other night and went down about 15 minutes later because they were TOO QUIET. She expected to find chaos, but instead found this:

Gotta love them!!!

Sleeping in the Stall

While I am still a bit nervous to step on the scale on Sunday morning, I am feeling good about how I have been doing the past few days.  I have been away from home a lot the past few weeks, and while friends and family have made it so I haven’t need to turn to fast food, it is hard to stay on track when you are not in charge of the food being offered.

While there is still work to be done, these past few weeks have shown me how much my relationship with food has changed.  6 months ago, a stressful situation like this would have been a guaranteed way to gain 5 – 10 pounds.  Not anymore!!! In the past, I would self-sooth myself with food.  I would stuff myself with fast food, candy, cakes, pastas, etc.  These past two weeks I have not indulged in fast food AT ALL and only indulged in a sweets ONE TIME, and I have my single serving and was done.   YAY ME!

While I made many success’ I am still struggling. I haven’t exercised in over a week and I am exhausted all the time because my sleeping schedule is off. I actually fell asleep in the bathroom stall at work this morning; I just really hope nobody heard me snore.    

I am so happy that I have the next 4 days off.  I can really use the rest, plus I get to spend more time with these cuties:



5/23/2012 The Baby and Lola "KISSES"


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT:

Battleshot OZ

Current Weight: 217.8

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: + 0.4 Total lost: -40.2
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 77.8

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -8.8 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -10 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -17.9 pounds to go in 14 weeks (1.27 pounds a week)

You have no idea the relief I felt when I stepped on the scale and I was only up by .4 pounds.  I didn't have a binge weekend, but I needed ot let go for sanity sake and I didn't track and didn't always make the best choices. 

As of yesterday I have been on track and feel confident I can remain so.

My stress level is thru the roof and I am very much not okay, but I am taking it day by day.  All I can say here is that sometimes it is hard to determine whether the right path and the path that 'feels' right are the same. 

On a happier note, I have a updated picture!!

May 19, 2012 40.2 pounds lost

I know this isn't your standard update picture, but I realized this is the first picture of me I have seen at my 40 pounds lost mark.  I must say I look GOOD!! Its hilarious cause all I have been complaining about the past few weeks is how much my boobs have shrunk but after seeing this picture I don't feel I have to worry about it. HAHA

If you are curious as to what I am doing in the image, I am sanding pegs.  About 6 months ago, I came across a picture of a battleship drinking game board. I have begging my building abled friend to build it for me and in hopes of cheering me up he started it this week. Here are some pictures so far:

My little sister spray painting some pegs Purple.  The colors we chose are Black, Pink and Purple

My friend got the power tools out for this one. I even used a few, I feel all powerful.

 

To protect the pool table this will sit on, we purchased fabric be stapled to the bottom. To save money we went to the clearance rack. This puppy will be sporting bright pink fleece with the bright smiling face of Glinda the Good Witch. 

The irony of this whole project is I don't drink or party that much. Who has the time with 5 kids. But it will get plenty of use at his house so I am not worried. I just get dips on first game every time I come.

FAT DAY

I had such a horrible FAT day yesterday.  No, I didn’t binge and, yes, I did work out but I just felt huge all day.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see every ounce of the 40.6 pounds of weight gone.  Other times, all can see is the 77.4 pounds I still have to lose. 

I persevered though.  I need to stay strong though, I need to stay focused on me.

Right now I am going through a life changing, highly emotionally charged crisis in my personal life and while everything is going crazy, one thing I know for certain is that I would have not been able to handle this 40 pounds ago.

Not only have I lost 40 pounds but I gained so much more in confidence and control.  Food controlled almost all of my life. It was like having an abusive, controlling, manipulative parent/spouse.  While I craved to be healthy and thin, I never really thought I could get away.  While I am still fighting the battle I don’t feel like defeat is just around the corner.  Knowing that I have the inner strength to get control of my food intake and weight is so empowering.  It makes me feel like I can defeat and comeback from anything.

I am drawing on that new found strength right now.  I am hoping I will be all right.

GENIUS MOMENT OF THE DAY:  One of our signs at work still said 2011 so I took it down to replace.  I spent twenty minutes playing with publisher trying to match the font, color and size of the original sign (so it matches the surrounding signs).  I finally get it right and I printed, laminated and carefully cut it out.  I smiled as I lean in to tape it up as I realized I made a perfect match…then I realized it was a little too perfect a match as it still said 2011.  OMG!  And do you think I wrote down the font/color/size info? Back to square one.