FAT DAY

I had such a horrible FAT day yesterday.  No, I didn’t binge and, yes, I did work out but I just felt huge all day.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see every ounce of the 40.6 pounds of weight gone.  Other times, all can see is the 77.4 pounds I still have to lose. 

I persevered though.  I need to stay strong though, I need to stay focused on me.

Right now I am going through a life changing, highly emotionally charged crisis in my personal life and while everything is going crazy, one thing I know for certain is that I would have not been able to handle this 40 pounds ago.

Not only have I lost 40 pounds but I gained so much more in confidence and control.  Food controlled almost all of my life. It was like having an abusive, controlling, manipulative parent/spouse.  While I craved to be healthy and thin, I never really thought I could get away.  While I am still fighting the battle I don’t feel like defeat is just around the corner.  Knowing that I have the inner strength to get control of my food intake and weight is so empowering.  It makes me feel like I can defeat and comeback from anything.

I am drawing on that new found strength right now.  I am hoping I will be all right.

GENIUS MOMENT OF THE DAY:  One of our signs at work still said 2011 so I took it down to replace.  I spent twenty minutes playing with publisher trying to match the font, color and size of the original sign (so it matches the surrounding signs).  I finally get it right and I printed, laminated and carefully cut it out.  I smiled as I lean in to tape it up as I realized I made a perfect match…then I realized it was a little too perfect a match as it still said 2011.  OMG!  And do you think I wrote down the font/color/size info? Back to square one.