FOOD

Our work is always trying new things to keep us motivated to stay healthy.  This month we are having a throw down between two departments to see who can come out with the yummiest and healthy foods in three categories: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dessert.   While I have no baking skills what so ever, I had the brilliant idea to sign up for the dessert section.  It didn’t take me long to figure out my mistake and I quickly rummaged through the few desserts I can actually make without having guests flee the house. 

Up came my recipe for Pumpkin Scones.  It meet all the calorie/fat/sugar/sodium requirements (though just barely) so I am excited to see how it rates against the competition. If I win, I will post to recipe for you all. If not…we never had this conversation.

I know I have talked about this a ton, but I am still inwardly thrilled about the change in my eating habits.  I use to eat ALL THE TIME. Even if things didn’t taste that good, I would eat it all.  At parties and events I would stalk the food table and would eat the ENTIRE event. 

Now it is completely different. My Little Sister had her birthday on Saturday and had a huge party at her friend’s house. There was so much food to meet everyone’s palate and pre WW I would have been all over it like white on rice.  This time around was so different. Since my mom and older sister don’t like to party like my little sister does, they came early and I had a small dinner with them.  Then I avoided the food table most of the night.  Only after playing the initiation round of the new Battle Shots table, a friend brought me a plate with some more potatoes so the ratio to food/liquor in my stomach was even.

Not 100% complete but we were able to rig it to make it playable for the party. Unfortunatley we lost :-(

The most amazing thing about the whole evening was that it wasn’t like I was craving to eat but not allowing myself, I didn’t think about food AT ALL.  Food isn’t on my mind 24/7 anymore. The only time I craved something is when they started serving the cookie monster birthday cupcakes (was going to post a picture of the cake, but while looking up images on my phone I realized people added inappropriate additions to the cupcake, lol.)  I have a pretty solid sweet tooth and was tempted but then I overheard someone say that while the cake was good, the frosting was two sweet. Just hearing that it wasn’t perfection was enough to turn the craving off.  WEIRD, I KNOW!!

What is the biggest change you have seen in your eating habits since started your weight loss journey?

Current Weight: 212.4

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: - 5.4 Total lost: -45.6
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 72.4

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -3.4 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -4.4 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -12.5 pounds to go in 13 weeks (0.96 pounds a week)

12.5 pounds to go and I get a cheeseburger!!!! I know I know, I am not suppose to reward myself with food but OMG, I have been craving a cheeseburger and fries from 5 Guys for weeks!! The only thing that is stopping me from foaming at the mouth and storming the building to consume this delicious meal like a rabid dog is that I made a deal with myself: 

I meet my goal of 199.9 and I get myself a cheeseburger and fries completely guilt free.  

As my kids would say; “12.5 pounds is going to take FOR-EV-ER!!”

No special reason why I lost so much this week. A combination of my body making up for last week’s weight gain with the added combination of crap load of stress which seems to dampen my hunger.  I haven’t exercised in a week and I totally feel it. I feel lethargic and tired all the time.  I really need to get back into a routine. 

I hope you guys had a great Memorial Day weekend. We played hard at our house which ended up with some pretty exhausted kids. Mama D turned on a movie for them around 8pm the other night and went down about 15 minutes later because they were TOO QUIET. She expected to find chaos, but instead found this:

Gotta love them!!!

Sleeping in the Stall

While I am still a bit nervous to step on the scale on Sunday morning, I am feeling good about how I have been doing the past few days.  I have been away from home a lot the past few weeks, and while friends and family have made it so I haven’t need to turn to fast food, it is hard to stay on track when you are not in charge of the food being offered.

While there is still work to be done, these past few weeks have shown me how much my relationship with food has changed.  6 months ago, a stressful situation like this would have been a guaranteed way to gain 5 – 10 pounds.  Not anymore!!! In the past, I would self-sooth myself with food.  I would stuff myself with fast food, candy, cakes, pastas, etc.  These past two weeks I have not indulged in fast food AT ALL and only indulged in a sweets ONE TIME, and I have my single serving and was done.   YAY ME!

While I made many success’ I am still struggling. I haven’t exercised in over a week and I am exhausted all the time because my sleeping schedule is off. I actually fell asleep in the bathroom stall at work this morning; I just really hope nobody heard me snore.    

I am so happy that I have the next 4 days off.  I can really use the rest, plus I get to spend more time with these cuties:



5/23/2012 The Baby and Lola "KISSES"


AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETLEY DIFFERENT:

Battleshot OZ

Current Weight: 217.8

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: + 0.4 Total lost: -40.2
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 77.8

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -8.8 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -10 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -17.9 pounds to go in 14 weeks (1.27 pounds a week)

You have no idea the relief I felt when I stepped on the scale and I was only up by .4 pounds.  I didn't have a binge weekend, but I needed ot let go for sanity sake and I didn't track and didn't always make the best choices. 

As of yesterday I have been on track and feel confident I can remain so.

My stress level is thru the roof and I am very much not okay, but I am taking it day by day.  All I can say here is that sometimes it is hard to determine whether the right path and the path that 'feels' right are the same. 

On a happier note, I have a updated picture!!

May 19, 2012 40.2 pounds lost

I know this isn't your standard update picture, but I realized this is the first picture of me I have seen at my 40 pounds lost mark.  I must say I look GOOD!! Its hilarious cause all I have been complaining about the past few weeks is how much my boobs have shrunk but after seeing this picture I don't feel I have to worry about it. HAHA

If you are curious as to what I am doing in the image, I am sanding pegs.  About 6 months ago, I came across a picture of a battleship drinking game board. I have begging my building abled friend to build it for me and in hopes of cheering me up he started it this week. Here are some pictures so far:

My little sister spray painting some pegs Purple.  The colors we chose are Black, Pink and Purple

My friend got the power tools out for this one. I even used a few, I feel all powerful.

 

To protect the pool table this will sit on, we purchased fabric be stapled to the bottom. To save money we went to the clearance rack. This puppy will be sporting bright pink fleece with the bright smiling face of Glinda the Good Witch. 

The irony of this whole project is I don't drink or party that much. Who has the time with 5 kids. But it will get plenty of use at his house so I am not worried. I just get dips on first game every time I come.

FAT DAY

I had such a horrible FAT day yesterday.  No, I didn’t binge and, yes, I did work out but I just felt huge all day.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see every ounce of the 40.6 pounds of weight gone.  Other times, all can see is the 77.4 pounds I still have to lose. 

I persevered though.  I need to stay strong though, I need to stay focused on me.

Right now I am going through a life changing, highly emotionally charged crisis in my personal life and while everything is going crazy, one thing I know for certain is that I would have not been able to handle this 40 pounds ago.

Not only have I lost 40 pounds but I gained so much more in confidence and control.  Food controlled almost all of my life. It was like having an abusive, controlling, manipulative parent/spouse.  While I craved to be healthy and thin, I never really thought I could get away.  While I am still fighting the battle I don’t feel like defeat is just around the corner.  Knowing that I have the inner strength to get control of my food intake and weight is so empowering.  It makes me feel like I can defeat and comeback from anything.

I am drawing on that new found strength right now.  I am hoping I will be all right.

GENIUS MOMENT OF THE DAY:  One of our signs at work still said 2011 so I took it down to replace.  I spent twenty minutes playing with publisher trying to match the font, color and size of the original sign (so it matches the surrounding signs).  I finally get it right and I printed, laminated and carefully cut it out.  I smiled as I lean in to tape it up as I realized I made a perfect match…then I realized it was a little too perfect a match as it still said 2011.  OMG!  And do you think I wrote down the font/color/size info? Back to square one.

In Can Happen

Current Weight: 217.4

Starting Weight: 258
Week 19: - 4 Total lost: -40.4
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 77.4

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: -8.4 pounds to go
- 50 pounds gone: -9.6 pounds to go
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -17.5 pounds to go in 15 weeks (1.16 pounds a week)

I knew I had lost this week, but I was definitely surprised when I saw just how much on Sunday morning. Not that I am complaining or anything. :-)

Watching my body change has been completely fascinating. To think that just 4 months ago I was squeezing into my size 24 pants and now I can slip easily into a size 16 is mind blowing. Some days it seems like it is going to take forever to lose all this weight and then other days I can't believe how quickly I can turn my body around.

I went to Personal Training Man's weight lifting competition this weekend (he bench pressed 615 pounds and squatted 741 pounds.) and it was interesting to see how people have tranformed their bodies with weight training and deterimination. While I have no interest in joining weight lifting competitions I have been realizing that I want more than just having less fat on my body. I want to be tone and have a body I am proud of. And I definitely saw some bodies at this competition that I would be proud to have. HAHAHA

I recently got an Ipad and was so excited that I could blog from it but then I discovered I cannot post pictures to the blog on my Ipad. Grrr. So unfortunately, this blog is picture and video free...LE SIGH

David and Goliath

YAY! I got my workout mojo back last night.  I have to be honest; Wednesday’s weak-ass workout really worried me. I was concerned I was losing my drive and would start struggling.  I don’t have to worry about that; yesterday’s work-out was one of my best. I just think my body needed a day of rest. 

I received a call welcome call from my wellness coach last night.  She was thrilled with my initiative and what I have accomplished so far and was excited to work with me.  We have our official first session on May 31^st, I am hoping to learn a lot. 

One of the questions the wellness coach asked was what motivated to start the change in January.  It took me a moment to respond, because I realized that it was more of a accumulation of things then just one ‘moment’.  I thought I would share with you some of my reasons.

WHY I TOOK THE PLUNGE (these are not in order of importance):

1.       I WANT TO BE SEXY: I was going to title this section “I want to bring sexy back” but seeing as I have been obese all of adult life and overweight since 3^rd grade, I really don’t have any sexy to bring back.  I have never felt good in my own skin and I am ready for that to change.  I want to be superficial and get satisfaction from people checking me out. Haha

2.       TRAVEL: I am tired of my fat keeping me grounded. I have always dreamed of traveling and am lucky enough to have friends and family all over I can stay with but my shame of my weight and total anxiety around being a fat girl on a plane (possibly being forced to buy second ticket and discomfort of seats) have made it almost impossible.  

3.       DAUGHER:  October 5, 2010 stands out as one of the best days of my life.  On that date I adopted my daughter.  I never imagined at 27 I would be the parent of a 14 year old but it has been one of most fulfilling experiences so far.  I had no idea how to parent a teen but one thing I picked up was that she was watching EVERYTHING I do.   Some of the stuff she picked up like table manners, appreciation for books and the ability to make anything into a game, were good things.  But I also realized she was picking up my eating habits, my energy level, and my self image issues.  Wanting to the best role model I can be for her is helping me change into the person I have always wanted to be.

4.       CHILDREN:  I want to be the mom who plays with their children. Who can run around with them and play games with them.  I want to be the mom my kids could be proud of. 

5.       HEALTH: I have been lucky to have no permanent health issues related to my weight, but I know it is only a matter of time.

6.       MYSELF: I am stronger than this.  I let food control me and for someone who has control issues that is a hard thing to swallow (HAHAHAHA totally love my own pun).  I feel like David and Goliath….except this time Goliath swallowed David and he has to find his way out with exercise and a sensible diet. 

There are many smaller reasons, but those are the basics. What are you reasons?

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:

If you found this as amazing as I did, we are soul mates

So, We Meet Again.

So, we meet again.

I had a horrible workout yesterday. My body was just not in the mood.  My 30 minutes elliptical session was sluggish and I didn’t experience the satisfaction that follows an intense workout.  While the day before I had pushed myself to 40 crunches (I started at 10 and have been slowly increasing) I barely got past 15. After 1 set of arm exercises I thru in the towel and hit the showers.  

While the workout was an epic failure, I am still happy that I attempted.  I had been ridiculously tired all day and had planned to skip but after a 15 minute nap on the couch and the heart stopping scare my friend gave me when he woke me up, I felt energized enough to try.  In my world, getting there is about 95% of the battle and the fact that on a crappy ass day I am able to push myself to workout means I still have some control.

In sad news, I killed a mole on Tuesday. Didn’t mean too, but at the exact moment he decided to exit his little hole is the exact moment I decided to back my car out of the driveway.  I didn’t realize what I had done until I was walking to the mail box after work and saw him.  I asked my friend to dispose of the body for me, and while I shrieked and ran to the front door when he picked the mole up, I did quietly hum Taps while I pointed him to the direction of the garbage cans.

R.I.P Mole Birth - May 8, 2012

Gremlins attacked Mama D again last night and made her trip while leaving G-man’s t-ball practice.  The ER doc thinks she may have broken her ankle but she has to go see a specialist today to confirm.  She is bummed as this will put a halt to the exercise part of her weight loss plan. 

My insurance company has offered me a wellness consultation.  I am excited to speak with someone about the changes I have made in my life over the past 4 months and what else I can do to improve my over all wellness. I will let you know if I discover anything insightful.  

Since The Baby loved my introduction of “Rainbow Connection” to our bedtime song set I decided to add some more. I am currently trying to memorize “Return To Pooh Corner” I think he will LOVE that one. 

I feel like I should have something more interesting and exciting to blog about….but I don’t.

NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:

Take Me Out To The Ball Game!!!

Safeco Field May 6, 2012
From Back to Front: Serena, G-man, Mama D, and J.

We took the family and a few of friends to a Seattle Mariner's game yesterday as a late celebration for M's birthday. Because so many of our kids birthdays are at the same time, we try to find other things to do instead of your standard birthday parties. While the Mariner's kicked the Twin's behind, I lost the battle of staying on plan. But COME ON!! Who can resist stadium garlic fries. 

While I would like to blame the fries for my poor performance on the scale today, I weighed in before the game and with these results:

Current Weight: 221.4

Starting Weight: 258
Week 18: -0.6
Total lost: -36.6
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 81.4

GOALS:
- 40 pounds gone: - 3.4 pounds to go
- Another 10%: - 12.4 pounds to go
- Below 200pds by end of summer: -21.5 pounds to go in 16 weeks (1.34 pounds a week)

I know it is a loss but I tried SOOOOOO HARD this week.  I sayed below my points each day AND I worked out 5 days in a row.  My mom gave me the "Muscle weights more than fat." talk but I am still peeved.  I was really hoping to hit 219 this week. 

Life balances out though!!! I went clothes shopping on Saturday and purchased a pair of 16 pants and a size XL shirt from a normal sized store and THEY FIT!! While I would love to say I am officially a size 16, but I had a stack of 5 other size 16 jeans that I couldn't even button but I am soooo close.

I stopped by a friends birthday party on Friday and received many compliments.  Though I seem to have no problem blogging about my journey here or doing interviews for company newletters that go out to 6,000 employees, I have been pretty hush hush about my weight loss to my friends and so part of me liked the attention but the other half was sooooo embarressed.

And now for something completely different:

Interview

Since I won the Biggest Loser Competition at work; they asked to interview me for our company wide Wellness Newsletter:

What did you change in your life for the Biggest Loser challenge?

I had successfully been on Weight watchers for a few months when the challenge began but when I signed up for the Biggest Loser Challenge I knew I needed to push myself a little more. I became friendly with my elliptical machine, got over my fear of crunches, and had a friend design a weight routine for me.  Now I exercise 4-5 times  a week.

What do you think made you most successful?

Exercise! Exercise! Exercise!  Not only because it helps with weight loss, but because I found the more consistent I am with exercising the more energy I have and less tired I feel.   I also saw quicker changes in my body and pant sizes when I added exercise to my weight loss plan.  Feeling more energized and seeing greater changes in my body helped me stay motivated and focused.

What are you planning on doing with your winnings?

Definitely purchasing new clothing.   The thrill of your clothing getting to large tends to fade when you feel like you’re wearing parachute pants around the office.

It's Not Gone, Just Hiding.

I had been really feeling like I had gained some control when it came to my impulsive binge eating.  I felt control of what I put into my mouth with minimal effort.  This week I have had two incidents where it became clear that said issue was more hidden that gone. 

Incident 1:  On Monday evening I made turkey sliders.  While a healthy meal in moderation, I had found in a past that this meal was something I tended to overeat on.  I felt confident that those days were behind me.  I had my two from the first batch and I felt good in my food choices.

Once the remaining sliders were placed on a plate for household members who were at T-ball practice, I started to get the itch for just ONE MORE!!!  Luckily, one of my weight loss friends was there and his mere presence prevented me from stuffing my face.  I knew he was getting ready to leave though and I was anxiously looking at the clock hoping he would leave before T-ball practice was over so I could eat more before Mama D got home. He said his goodbyes and I had enough time to stuff my face with one more slider before Mama D walked in the door. WTH!! That is like pre-mediated bingeing or something.

Incident 2: Tuesday was M’s 7^th birthday. I had saved points so that I could enjoy a tiny sliver of birthday cake with the family.  Everything went great; I ate my piece and felt satisfied.   Later in the evening, after the kids were in bed, I went back into the kitchen to grab something.  While my daughter had done the dishes, she left the cake ready and waiting on the island counter, just begging to be eaten. Without even thinking I grabbed a fork and started in on the cake, avoiding the frosting because It was nasty and blue and made the eater look like he just ate a Smurf.  Luckily, on my third bite Mama D walked in said “Channie! Step away from the cake!”



Family sporting their Smurf eating faces



While the overall damage of the two mini-binges was minimal, that fact that these two incidents happened two days in a row is disturbing. I really need to get some self-control.

On the flip side, I am really grooving with this work-out thing.  I have worked out four days in a row!!!

Yesterday was the first day of my works pedometer competition. One elliptical session got me 3,500 steps. I am hoping this motivates me to keep to my goal of working our 5 times a week.

Dragonfruit

While I find I come up lacking in many areas of parenting, one area in which I am proud is that my kids area always up for trying new things.  Last Sunday, my mom and I were grocery shopping together when I came across a gorgeous but strange looking piece of fruit called dragonfruit.

We had no idea what it was or how to eat it but my mom and I each picked one up so the family could try.  We proudly displayed are wonders at the top of carts in which we were stopped several times to ask what the hell it was.  Towards the end of our trip, a man stopped my mom to ask where she had found it.  She pointed him in the direction but asked what he knew about it.  He said they were a cactus fruit and that they were sweet in the center.

After a few Google searched we found out how to cut and prepare this delicacy.  The season generally doesn't start until August so we weren't expecting peak flavor but man they were GOOD!  It has a texture similiar to a kiwi but had a very mild sweet taste.  I assume when in season they will have a simliar flavor of a fresh fig. 

After consuming the first one, we decided to get creative and made a strawberry & dragonfruit shortcake. YUM!

HIGH NOTE:

I had G-Man convinced for 10 minutes that the dragonfruit was from a dragon and had teeth.  After tormenting him for a while, I told him not to worry, this one was dead but to make sure to stay clear of live ones.