Week 23

Current Weight: 208

Starting Weight: 258
Week 23: - 2.8
Total lost: -50.00
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 68.0 pounds to go

GOALS:
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -8.1 pounds to go in 11 weeks (0.74 pounds a week)

- HALFWAY MARK!!!:  -9 Pounds to go

- 60 pounds gone: -10 pounds to go

- Overweight BMI: -29 pounds to go

- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
- 50 pounds gone: (Complete on 6/10/2012)

And here is a 50 pound loss picture!!!

June 9, 2012 208 pounds

I just can’t believe how small my legs are getting. I just wish my tummy and arms would catch up. Seriously, I look like I am pregnant in tha tshirt.

I have been 208 before…once upon a time. I don’t remember it all that well, there were several years where I just ate and ate and never stepped on a scale. But what I do know is that I felt like crap and hated myself. Now that I am going the opposite direction past 208, I feel like a new person.  I still have my insecurities (i.e. jiggle arms) but I have come so much more out of my shell.

I feel like the ‘thin me’ is coming out.  I love visiting new places and experiencing all life has to offer but was literally paralyzed with anxiety and fear to actually go out and do those things.  I was so self-conscious that I rarely left the house because I was so sure everyone was looking at me. 

This month my wife and I have planned a 3 day trip to the ocean (sans kids, YAY) and a weekend trip to a small Bavarian style town in the mountains.  258 pound me would be already anxious about the trip. Heck, 258 pound me wouldn’t have agreed to the ocean trip and found a way to bow out of the mountain trip and would have made Mama D go solo with the kiddos (I have done it before).  Now, I am over the moon excited. We are talking about going horseback riding or moped on the beach, how much fun is that.  Another HUGE first is that our room at the ocean has a jetted tub in the bedroom that looks out over the ocean. I will be able to fit in it now. You have no idea how long it is since I have been able to have a bath.   I am going to purchase a ton of bath salts and spend most of the weekend in the tub. 

I even have agreed to go to an adult only wine drinking/painting class with my best friend. I would never have put myself out there to attempt something like that 50 pounds ago.  Fat me would never have taken on something I have no skill in (Painting, not the wine…I am very skilled at drinking wine) because I would be so self conscious and miserable.  Now, I can just enjoy the experience and laugh at my bad art work. 

I am not cured. I still have areas in which my weight inhibits me.  In 2010, when we adopted two of our children, we had professional photos done of the kids. Serena has been asking for us to a do a family portrait ever since but I just can’t bring myself to do it quiet yet.  In I just need a little more time.

The next 68 pounds intimidate me. For some reason I feel like this last half of the process is going to be tougher than the first.  I think I will feel like better when I am over the hump though, only 9 more pounds and I am half way done!!!!