Monday, June 18, 2012

WARNING: Heavy Post

Current Weight: 206.2

Starting Weight: 258
Week 24: - 1.8
Total lost: -51.8
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 66.2 pounds to go

- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -6.3 pounds to go in 10 weeks (0.63 pounds a week).
- CHEESBURGER!!!!  -6.3 pounds to go
- HALFWAY MARK!!!:  -7.2 Pounds to go
- 60 pounds gone: -8.2 pounds to go
- Overweight BMI: -27.2 pounds to go

- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
- 50 pounds gone: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
I am stunned…this past week will probably go down in history as the most stressful week of my life and I was stress eating like nobody’s business. I was praying to just stay the same when then scale showed a 1.8 pound loss I did a little jig, right there in the bathroom. 
I know this losing streak will end and my bad eating will catch up to me, I just really need to regain some focus. 
I haven’t really blogged about some of the stuff that has been going on cause people I know IRL read this blog but I got to thinking that I blog because it motivates me and relieves stress. So those who know me, if you don’t want the details, then stop reading.
So here are the stressors I have been contending with:
1.     Separation – About 5 weeks ago, my wife of 10 years and I tried a trial separation.  I moved out for 2 weeks just so we could get some space. I have since moved back in but we have a lot of stuff in our marriage to work out.  The past few weeks with her have been amazing, and I am feeling very positive about the state of our marriage but the whole situation is just stressful.
2.     Run-Away – My eldest daughter has been feeling the stress of what is going on with Mama D and I and earlier this week didn’t come home from school.  She was gone for over 24 hours.  We ended up tracking her down but where she was and who she was with has caused some BIG issues. 
3.     Mother – My mother has been ill for quite some time, and the prognosis from the Dr. a few weeks ago wasn’t good.  The treatment which could cure one of her issues is too dangerous to attempt because of other issues. They have a treatment plan but it will take a lot of motivation on my mother’s part. If she isn’t successful, we are looking at 3-5 more years with her.
4.     Bye-Bye Baby – Our family is built of adopted and foster children.  We have had the joy of parenting one of our children for 1.5 years and 3 weeks ago he finally was returned to his birth mom and dad. While I feel the transition was best for the Baby, my arms still ache for our nightly rocking and singing.
Those are the big things, but like most people, I am surrounded by a zillion other little things that are pounding my defenses down.
The one thing I contribute to my continued weight loss would have to be my boring eating habits.  For the most part I can eat the same thing over and over again. I also am schedule driving so I pretty much have 80% of my eating down to a science. I eat either yogurt or egg wrap at 8am, turkey sandwich as 11:30am,  Luna bar at 3:30pm, dinner at 6:30pm (wild card), and WW Toffee Ice cream bar at 9pm.  If I am having a good week, I probably eat that exact schedule 6 days a week. On bad weeks like this last week, I ate that schedule maybe once or twice.  The problem being that I tend to snack a bit more between the hours of 3:30pm – 6:30pm. 
In hind sight I can see where I went wrong.  I bought some snacks for the “Kids” which tend to me big temptations for me.  I also would get so stressed I would cave into temptation and order in dinner.  I slowly allowed myself things which I had avoided for 6 months. Not a good trend.
I was very tempted last night to break my promise to myself and get a cheeseburger.  Mama D knew how much my 199.9 goal meant to me so she put her foot down and said she wouldn’t let me cave in when I am so close to my goal.  So I have reaffirmed my promise to avoid cheeseburgers until 199.9 but when it happens I am GOING BIG! I am going to put out a Facebook invite and get as many people as I can to join me at 5 Guys Burger and Fries to celebrate my half way done victory. 
I am going to reclaim my role as Weight Loss Goddess one step at a time. This week I am going to focus on cutting out the unplanned snacks and drinking more water....I hired this guy to keep me in line.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a party on Saturday and a friend who I wasn’t expecting to attend showed up. I was all excited and ran up to hug him and he grabbed me and picked me up into a big bear hug.  NOBODY has picked me up in years!!! I am light enough to be picked up! WOOT WOOT!


  1. Oh wow honey :( Congrats on the loss! But I am hurting because of all that you are going through. *hugs*

  2. Wow, you are dealing with A LOT. You are doing so well, and I know you will get to your goal. I've learned that I tend to back track when things are going really rough (as they've been for me these past few weeks), but then I end up feeling even worse because of it. You're not alone, I am fighting it with you! Sending you big hugs for everything you have on your plate, and I really hope things start getting better for you.

  3. You are dealing with a ton of stuff! You will be in my thoughts.

    Congrats on the loss though. You are doing great.

  4. You have a lot on your plate----but you'll pull through it beautifully. Chin up, sweetheart!