I hate bloggers who do disappearing acts…. And I hate that I am one of them. Sorry folks!!
The last 6 months have been difficult to say the least. We had a lot of changes happen that increased my stress level substantially and something had to give. I am sad to see it was my commitment to keep myself healthy but as I see the end of the tunnel up ahead I cannot feel regret for how I got there but just happiness that life really does have its ups.
On the weight loss side I am up about 15 pounds. I am at 205.8. Surprisingly I was thrilled by this because I was sure I was going to see something like 220 as I hadn’t weighted myself in months.
I don’t usually like to give excuses but my therapist keeps telling me that I need to stop punishing myself for not being perfect and excepting that sometimes life is hand me too much and to just be thankful and proud about what I can accomplish. So this is what has been going on:
- Oldest daughter behaviors continued to escalate until April. After several police interventions and thousands of dollars in property damage we gave her an ultimatum to shape up or get out. It has helped a lot but we still struggle daily with her.
- Shortly after my last blog post my mother’s health deteriorated drastically and on March 31st at 3am she passed away at the age of 56. I held her in my arms as she passed and while I was happy to be there it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
- On January 5th a child we use to foster came back into our home. I love that little dude to pieces but he has to be one of the hardest children I have parented in my 5 years as a parent and that includes my teenage daughter. He went home yesterday which both a sad and happy occasion.
- A few weeks after my mother passed I got a letter from my landlord that he was remodeling and selling the property so we needed to be out in 30 days. Moving for anyone is difficult but moving with 5 children with a history of trauma is awful. Behaviors kick up when I bring new furniture in the house or move things around….moving to a brand new house was interesting to say the least.
- As I have stated before I am a foster parent along with working fulltime. I feel like I have 2.5 jobs. One is my day job, second is being a parent, and my part-time job is dealing with all the people (social workers, adoption workers, supervisors, CHET workers, licensors, Judges, Birth parents, extended birth family, other foster parents, etc.) involved with each case. While I have 5 children we normally specialize in sibling groups so we have never had more than 3 sets of people to deal with. Since January we have had 4 separate sets and OMG I thought my head was going to explode, lol.
- In good news, I QUIT SMOKING ON MAY 27th!! I had quit before in 2007 but unfortunately started again in June of 2012. Honestly I hated being a smoker; the stink, the mess, the cost but they don’t call it an addiction for nothing. So YAY for no smoking!
- This past week Mama D and I have started a new work out and meal plan. We have been sticking to it pretty well. I have a crap load of family coming from France in August to spread my mother’s ashes so I feel it is a good motivator to get myself back on track. I have 8 weeks till they arrive so I am hoping I can get to 190. Keep your fingers crossed!