Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Reason Not To Weigh Daily

I got into the horrible habit of weighing myself multiple times a day again.  As always it is all good and motivating until...well.....it isn’t.  Yesterday was a perfect example. I decide to weight myself and I see:  203.4 
I liked this weight cause it was evening, which meant my morning weight (which is what I consider my ‘real weight’)  would most likely be in the 202’s.
A few minutes later I use the restroom and because I am all sorts of special I decided to weight myself again to see what if I was lower:
After restroom weight:  204.8
Okay how was it possible in a span of 10 minutes and 1 bathroom break for me to gain 1.4 pounds? SERIOUSLY!!! After weighing myself several times in succession I get the same weight.  So I shrug it off as a scale issue.
I leave for a few minutes to get the kids entertained while I decide to take a quick shower.  I decide to weigh myself again to see if the scale was done be silly.
Before shower weight: 205
So now I am super frustrated. How is it possible to continue gaining weight if I haven’ ingested anything.  I jump out of the shower and dry my hair and decide I will do one last final weigh in to see if the scale has stopped being STUPID!!
After shower weight in: 205.4 WTF!!!!!
So in a period of 30 minutes, I gained two pounds without drinking or eating a thing. SERIOUSLY!!!
You think I would have learned my lesson…right…….WRONG.
So this morning I get up still thinking about the stupid scale and decide to weight myself. I see 203 which while there was no loss, at least I wasn’t up.  I brush my teeth and decide just for shits and giggles to give the scale another go. I see 203.4 pop up and I curse profusely and kick the scale in turn stubbing my toe.
Mama D thinks the scale just needs new batteries but I think the scale is secretly sabotaging my sanity.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Back on the Wagon

Current weight: 203 pounds

Starting weight: 258 pounds
Week 27: -3.8 pounds
Total loss: - 55 pounds
Goal weight: 140 pounds
Total to lose: 63 pounds

GOALS:

Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -3.1 pounds in 6 weeks (.53 pounds a week) CHEESEBURGER!!!!!!: -3.1 pounds
Halfway mark: -4 pounds
60 pounds gone: -5 pounds
Overweight BMI: -24 pounds

What I have learned this week is that I had a program that worked. Why I starting changing things is beyond me. This loss was redeeming. It made me realize I hadn't lost all control and that I am still in the game.

Something amazing just happened! I took a break for a second to finish up the homemade bread I was making and I realized my stomach was making noises. It was 12pm and I had forgotten to eat anything. Here I was in the kitchen, preparing bread and getting things in the crockpot for dinner and I hadn't once thought about putting food in my mouth. All of you chronic snackers and binge eaters know how huge that is.

UPDATE: I totally have been sitting on this blog post since Sunday when I weighed in. I have tons of humorous and enlightening things to add but that will have to wait until another post. Love you all!!!!!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Scheduled Eating

Has nothing to do with the post, but the picture is so cute I had to post it.

When I am staying on plan, I stick to a pretty strict regime on when and what I eat.  I don’t mind eating the same thing for long periods of time. My recent menu has been as follows:
9:00am – Luna Bar
11:30am – Whole Wheat Sandwich thin, 2 slices turkey, ½ oz cheddar cheese, ½ tablespoon non-fat mayo, and a crap load of spinach
3:30pm – Snack
 6:30pm – Dinner (last night was 4 oz chicken, serving oven fries, and brussel sprouts. Tonight is Taco Salad. I use ground turkey with fresh mozzarella and eat it over a bowl of spinach with some fat free Ranch)
8:30pm – WW Toffee Ice Cream bar.

If you notice, the 3:30pm time slot is the ominous ‘snack’. I haven’t found the perfect food to fit into the time slot and I it is a constant struggle not to graze.  My favorite in the time slot use to be hummus and pretzels but I made the mistake of having my teenage daughter have a taste and a container of the stuff doesn’t last 24 hours in the house anymore. 
I also find I am ravenous at this time too, but I don’t want to spoil my dinner so I find myself roaming the house mutter to myself about how dieting sucks while unconsciously grabbing a piece or fruit here, a handful of pretzels there, a granola bar I keep hidden in the back of pantry and the next thing I know I have consumed more calories in an hour then I had the previous 8 hours.
Frustrating to the extreme.
The scale has been friendly to me all week so I am hoping to post a big loss on Sunday.  The only obstacle is going to lunch with my daughter on Saturday.  I planned a light dinner though so I should be okay.  For the first time in ages my daughter and I have the house to ourselves all weekend and we are getting so much needed mother/daughter time.  We are getting pedicures and renting a bunch of movies. Super excited!!
NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:



I sent this picture to ‘Trainer Guy’ because it fit him and he texted back:
“While reading the last part, I started hearing the ‘Back to the Future’ theme in my head. Time travel is possible with bacon!!!”  
I love having friends with a sense of humor.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Inspiration

A few months ago, when the shit hit the fan, Mama D strongly suggested that I start therapy.  I was nervous about this because I have had some bad experiences in the past but my new therapist is AMAZING!  Yesterday we talked about how scary my recent slips in energy and happiness have been. 
You wouldn’t recognize me if you meet me 1.5 years ago.  I wore my self-loathing quite literally on my sleeve.  I would go days without bathing, brushed my teeth maybe once a day, I didn’t wear make-up, my hair was long and messy and I dressed in unflattering clothing with holes and stains in them.  I hid from the world and made sure the world had no want to come to me. 
Then I became a parent to a teenager almost overnight and I realized how she started to mimic me. I was horrified.  Something changed within me and I decided to make a change.  I purchased make-up (which was quite comical because I had no idea how to use most of it), I cut my hair short so I was forced to style it (again quite comical), I started a hygiene routine everyday which included showering, facial scrubs, flossing, moisturizing, etc.  I went to a nice plus size clothing store and for the first time ever splurged on clothing which I liked and I felt good in. 
In January I took it a step further and decided to lose weight, and after a few months even added working out. Taking care of myself motivated me and with that my house was cleaner than ever and I felt so much happier. 
In past few weeks things have slipped. First the working out, then I stopped flossing, then I stopped moisturizing, and when my hair grew out some I am wearing it up more and more often. The house is getting messier, and my energy has been almost nonexistent. Then with the gain the week before last I was terrified I was slipping even more. 
My therapist, in all her glory didn’t understand what impact these small changes were having on me.  She didn’t know the sloppy me; she didn’t know the 258 pound me.  She wouldn’t be able to help me through this cause she wasn’t with me along the journey.
So I have spent a lot past few days trying to figure out how to get me back to where I belong.  I need to feel motivated again.  I cut my hair so I am forced to do my hair each morning,  I threw away all my baggy torn clothes so even at my worst I will look decent.  I am trying to get back in my night time self care routine. 
Another thing which seems to have disappeared was my constant search and reading of fellow weight loss blogs. I am a blog addict since I started reading about doing foster care in 2007 and with each new life endeavor I always found information, inspiration and motivation in the blogosphere. 
In the beginning I was like a starving wolf and devoured blog after blog soaking up their stories and their joy and energy that shined from their blog pages.  While I still follow a few (Shout out to Rae Rae J, Tiffany, Sarah and Mina); I stopped searching for new bloggers, I stopped seeking out new recipes and new inspirations.  So starting today my new search has begin. If you can recommend a good weight loss blog, or have your own you would like to share please post it in the comments.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Down Down Down Down

Current Weight: 206.8

Starting Weight: 258
Week 26: - 0.8 pounds
Total lost: - 51.2
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 66.8 pounds to go

GOALS:
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -6.9 pounds to go in 7 weeks (0.98 pounds a week).
- CHEESBURGER!!!!  -6.9 pounds to go
- HALFWAY MARK!!!:  -7.8 Pounds to go
- 60 pounds gone: -8.8 pounds to go
- Overweight BMI: -27.8 pounds to go

- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
- 50 pounds gone: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
Super excited to see a downward trend again this month.  Seeing a loss has really helped increase my motivation. 
The pictures from the Fourth of July posted on FB earlier this week and they were a wake-up call.  In a few of the pictures I could really see the weight loose and I loved them, but most of the pictures showed the remaining weight I had to lose.  While I am grateful for every ounce of the 51.2 pounds I have lost, it is still nerve racking to face the remaining 66.8 pounds.
While we tend to keep the party guests to close friends and family, Mama D asked if she could invite an attorney who works for her firm to come as well. I had heard a lot about him via Mama D but had never met him. I knew Mama D wanted to make a good impression so I made sure to introduce them to the guests and make sure there were entertained throughout the evening.  I left the attorney and his girlfriend for a few minutes and during this time apparently my daughter’s very na├»ve friend went up to our guest and asked him quietly if he was a vampire. 
Now in her defense this man looks freakishly like Edward Cullen’s doppelganger.   SWEAR TO GOD! He has the complexion, hair, and even has these unbelievable golden eyes.  I had to restrain my friend from going up to introduce himself by saying “Mr.  Patterson, I presume.”
I was mortified!!!! Luckily said attorney, with all of his southern charm, laughed it off.  When my daughter’s friend commented about how much he looked like the Hollywood vampire, he reportedly said “No, the vampire looks like me as I am older.” 
Despite being accused of being one of the undead, he and his girlfriend graciously accepted our dinner invitation later in the month.  I have already made arrangements that no children or teenagers will be present, lol. 
I know the story had nothing to do about weight loss but I had to share it, it was equal parts embarrassing and amusing. 

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Positive Gain

Channie and Mama D June 30, 2012 Ocean Shores, WA
Current Weight: 207.6

Starting Weight: 258
Week 26: + 1.4 pounds
Total lost: -50.4
Goal Weight: 140
Total to lose: 67.4 pounds to go

GOALS:
- Below 200 pounds by end of summer: -7.7 pounds to go in 8 weeks (0.96 pounds a week).
- CHEESBURGER!!!!  -7.7 pounds to go
- HALFWAY MARK!!!:  -8.6 Pounds to go
- 60 pounds gone: -9.6 pounds to go
- Overweight BMI: -28.6 pounds to go

- 40 pounds gone: (Complete on 5/13/2012)
- Another 10%: (Complete on 6/10/2012)
- 50 pounds gone: (Complete on 6/10/2012)

Seeing an increase on the scale was very painful, especially since I saw 205 on the scale earlier in the week. But I am not as devastated or defeated as I thought I would be. If anything I felt it was good for me. I felt like I was skating by for too long as my bad habits resurfaced.  This was like a wake-up call I needed and I have officially hit the reset button.
The reason for increase was of two factors. One is that TOM entered my life on weigh in day AND I ate like a little piggy all vacation weekend.  I know I should regret it but I don’t.  It was such a fun relaxing weekend and I don’t regret a single moment or bite.  BUT I do realize that eating like I did is not an occurrence that can happen often. 
Mama D had a successful loss which was AWESOME! I think it was because of all the calories she burned fighting with the huge alligator that attacked her while we were shopping.
The vacation was amazing! The view from our room was heart stopping:

The jetted tub with views of the ocean was one of the highlights.

While we were at an Irish Pub one night we heard about a Celtic music festival they were having in October.  There were having bands from all over the world coming.  It looked like so much fun, that when we checked out of our AMAZING condo we immediately booked for the days in October.  I am sooo EXCITED.

I have eaten incredibly well the past two days and today is my official back to working out day. I have also tackled another goal the past two days and that is to quit smoking.  I hear you all yelling “YOU SMOKE!?!?!” I quit smoking about 5 years ago, and when Mama D and I temporarily split about 8 weeks ago, I ended up staying with some friends for a few weeks. It was a party house with lots of people smoking and I sadly picked up the habit again. 
While the nicotine helped with the anxiety I still hated the taste and smell but it is called an addiction for a reason. When my work’s entire campus went smoke free on Monday, I decided to take the opportunity to remove the grossness from my life.
 I am feeling good! I am feeling fierce! I am in feeling INCHARGE!!!!