Thursday, May 17, 2012


I had such a horrible FAT day yesterday.  No, I didn’t binge and, yes, I did work out but I just felt huge all day.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see every ounce of the 40.6 pounds of weight gone.  Other times, all can see is the 77.4 pounds I still have to lose. 
I persevered though.  I need to stay strong though, I need to stay focused on me.
Right now I am going through a life changing, highly emotionally charged crisis in my personal life and while everything is going crazy, one thing I know for certain is that I would have not been able to handle this 40 pounds ago.
Not only have I lost 40 pounds but I gained so much more in confidence and control.  Food controlled almost all of my life. It was like having an abusive, controlling, manipulative parent/spouse.  While I craved to be healthy and thin, I never really thought I could get away.  While I am still fighting the battle I don’t feel like defeat is just around the corner.  Knowing that I have the inner strength to get control of my food intake and weight is so empowering.  It makes me feel like I can defeat and comeback from anything.
I am drawing on that new found strength right now.  I am hoping I will be all right.
GENIUS MOMENT OF THE DAY:  One of our signs at work still said 2011 so I took it down to replace.  I spent twenty minutes playing with publisher trying to match the font, color and size of the original sign (so it matches the surrounding signs).  I finally get it right and I printed, laminated and carefully cut it out.  I smiled as I lean in to tape it up as I realized I made a perfect match…then I realized it was a little too perfect a match as it still said 2011.  OMG!  And do you think I wrote down the font/color/size info? Back to square one.

1 comment:

  1. I hope whatever you're going through resolves itself soon. I'm glad you feel so much better after losing 40 pounds, and you are going to feel even better in the future. Keep your chin up, and keep up the good work!